


In the Midst of Devils

by secondsineternity (glassandroses)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Character Death, Death, F/M, Fake Character Death, Faked Death, Faked character death, First Order Member Reader, Hurt Poe Dameron, POV Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron Hurts So Prettily, Poe Dameron Needs A Hug, Reader-Insert, Resistance, Resistance Member Reader, Undercover Resistance Member Reader, fake death
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-12
Updated: 2019-08-12
Packaged: 2020-06-30 05:18:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,067
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19846381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/glassandroses/pseuds/secondsineternity
Summary: A star-crossed love story between the Resistance's best.You were dead. You were dead and gone, and it was haunting him to the ends of the galaxy. And you have to find your way out of the sea of devils and get back to your love, or die trying.





	In the Midst of Devils

You were dead. You were dead and gone, and it was haunting him to the ends of the galaxy.

Your death had shocked the entire rebellion. You were one of the best soldiers they had, and the pilots that were fighting alongside you had never expected such a low-risk battle to take out the best of them. Your love was not excluded from that sentiment.

They had won the battle easily, but the cost was too much for some more than others.

When Poe found out, he felt numb, his soul that had been broken and scarred now breaking, shattering into a million pieces. He sunk to the floor, not bothering to fight the welling tears in his eyes. Then he felt anger. Boiling red, hot anger, lashing out at the doctors and nurses and any unfortunate being who happened to be in the way of his blinded rage. He remembers having to be dragged away by firm but shaking hands, Rey and Finn. He remembers the tears in Rey's eyes and the disappointment on Finn's face when they dropped him off in his quarters.

General Leia had organized your funeral. It was small, just a few of your closer friends that you had made during your time in the Resistance. It was closed casket, and some dark part of Poe thought that it was better than having to see it open, to see your lifeless body laying there. Made him feel like it wasn't you. Gave him a twisted way to believe that you weren't really gone, just for a couple of hours.

When it was over, Poe left without saying a word to anybody. He dragged himself to his quarters and sobbed into his pillow, drank from the bottle of liquor you had given him for his 24th birthday until he passed out. No one saw him for a week after.

Months have passed since then and Poe wouldn't speak to anyone, wouldn't eat unless he was forced out of his quarters into the cafeteria. He hadn't flown in a month, not because he didn't want to, but because his comrades and superiors believed he might purposefully crash his ship. Just like you had.

One time, someone had made the mistake of saying it was a mercy. A mercy that you didn't have to endure this war anymore. He was a new pilot, not the best but sufficient enough to be notable in the Resistance. He didn't know that Poe was standing just across the room, or that Poe heard everything he said. He was pretty sure that the pilot was still in the medical wing two months later.

After that, Poe was officially put on the bench until further notice. Not like he cared. He didn't really care about anything anymore. He had become a shell. A blank, emotionless shell.

Now Poe spent his days sleeping. He would pray that he wouldn't see you in his dreams, that he could get a break from being reminded that you were no longer there with him, but whatever god that heard seemed to not listen. Poe would always wake with more bags under his eyes than before and the faint memories of you floating about his mind like a blessing that he could even still remember you. Like a curse that he had to.

In the nights, he would go to the training room, the one that nobody ever used because there was no need for physical combat when there were ships and blasters. He would wrap his hands in gauze tape and beat the hell out of a punching bag. He would pretend it was a First Order pilot, the one that shot you down. It made him feel better, if only a little bit.

It was early in the morning, according to the shuffling of feet and heavy yawns he could hear from outside the training room door. Poe began to head to his room, his footsteps intentionally soft and quiet with his head hung low. He had become a personified 'Danger! Keep Back' sign, unnecessarily so. No one willingly talked to Poe anymore, not even Finn. 

Wreathed in his clouds of misery and grief, he didn't notice that he was being followed.

Rey trailed him to his messy room, watched as he slumped into his unkempt bed. His room was a mess, with old, wasted food left untouched and dirty clothes strewn everywhere. Rey sighed, moved towards the bed and nudged him hard, "Get up, Poe."

Poe groaned, stirring. "Fuck off."

Rey's nostrils flared as she huffed in annoyance. "I said, get up." She grabbed one of his pillows out from underneath him and began to whack at him.

Poe growled, standing and ripping the pillow out of her hands, "What the hell do you want, Rey-"

"I want my friend back!" Rey shouted before closing her eyes, taking a step back to cool herself down. "I know what you're feeling, Poe, but it's been months. Yes, her death affected us all, but we need to move past it. This is a war." Rey sighed. "And she wouldn't want you to mope around when she died to ensure we could fight another day."

Poe sank down limply on the hard mattress. "I- I can't, Rey, I-" His voice broke and tears began to run down his cheeks.

Rey pulled him into her, and he cried on her shoulder. He told her how much her loved you, how much he missed you, how his absence was killing him and he didn't know what to do about it. He told her about how he heard your laugh in dreams and your screams in nightmares. He told her that he bought a ring that now had no purpose.

She stayed silent through it all, stroking a hand down his back. She hated seeing her friend like this, but she understood why he was like this. You had been her friend too, and she missed you just as much.

"What do I do, Rey?" He whispered, his voice still shaking, holding her shoulders with a vice-like grip. "I don't- I can't-"

"Hey, look at me Poe," Rey pulled back to look at him, "You get up. You get out of this room and back into work. You show, us, the general, and the rest of Resistance that you're okay. And you need to learn to move on."


End file.
